Do you remember when you said your wedding vows? When you looked into the eyes of the one you loved and vowed to never leave them or forsake them? Do you remember feeling almost giddy with joy for your new lives together…forever?
I remember that day well. I remember thinking how happy we would be. I expected hard times. I did not think that we would always agree. I felt as though I had realistic expectations of what marriage would be. I was wrong.
Yes, I expected disagreements and arguments, but I did not expect to feel lonely. I had no idea that I could be married and be lonely. To have someone who is supposed to be by your side and support you through your ups and downs, and then realizing that they aren’t there is a heart-wrenching feeling.
There have been times in our marriage when it would have been easy to walk away. Neither of us is without fault. Marriage is a two-way street. The first couple of years were very difficult for us. They were tough. Life is tough.
God never promised that it would be easy, but He did say He would help us through the storm. If we could only get past our sinful nature and follow His Word, what a difference that would make. I recently heard a radio broadcast asking the question “what is it like to be married to me?” What a thought! I obviously know what it’s like to be married to Hunter. Some days are easier than others. Some days are just difficult. I am not sure that I have thought about what it’s like to be married to me. In my own logic, I feel that if he only knew how I felt and could see things through my eyes then he would understand. But, have I ever tried to see things through his eyes?
We teach our children to put others first. We go over and over the concept of thinking of other people’s feelings, but do we truly model this in our marriage?
As the years have gone by, our marriage has gained tremendous strength. There are days when my love cup is overflowing, and I don’t know how I could love him more. Yet, there are days when I wonder why I am still here and my heart feels so empty.
My marriage continues to grow daily, and we continue to learn new things about each other. I have been digging into God’s Word, reading books and listening to programs and sermons on marriage and the family. I want to be equipped for whatever comes our way because I am not backing down. With God’s loving hand guiding my life, I will not fail. With Him by my side, I can face the storms.
I long for a love to last a lifetime.
Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”