God has a way of getting your attention, doesn’t He? Just when you think you have it all figured out, He throws you a curve ball to let you know who is really in control. The true test of our faith, is how we handle these things.
Week one didn’t go as I had planned. I considered it to be a complete failure. When I looked closer, I realized that even though the week didn’t go the way I wanted it to, God had His hand in it. Although I didn’t complete everything on my agenda, He gave me a new agenda that I did complete.
Week two went pretty well. There were of course some unexpected events but, all in all, it was a good week. I managed to get up on time every morning. My goal is to be in bed by 10 p.m., and I’ve been getting there between 10 -10:30, which isn’t too bad. Hopefully this week I will conquer that.
Choosing healthy is proving to be a daunting task. This week, I plan to make an extra effort in this area.
The house has been kept tidy. You notice I use the word tidy and not clean. Our house is very seldom what I would call clean. Even though I am home all day, I still can’t seem to get that “clean house” thing down. But it is tidy.
I really started with the decluttering this week. I tackled the hall closet upstairs. Our upstairs consists of four bedrooms for the kids, and a closet. We haven’t really used it since we lived here, and we’ve been here over four years now. It has housed old paint and whatever else the kids have chosen to shove in there. The doors to the closet were in bad shape, they were slat doors and a good number of the slats were missing. In order to clean the closet, I took the doors off. After I got the doors off and looked at things a little, I thought, wow I should just use this as shelving, without the doors. But what should I put there? I got side tracked to help Garrett and Ryan clean their room. While doing this, I realized they have entirely too many books for their poor book shelf. I immediately knew what I was going to use that closet for. Now instead of a closet, I have built-in bookshelves. It’s a central location for all of the kids, so there’s no fussing over who’s book is who’s and why it’s in that room and not someone else’s. All of the books can be easily accessed by everyone. There is even enough shelving that I have room for games on the top shelf. It’s ridiculous how excited I am about this small change, but it feels great to have that cleaned out and functional!
My daily quiet time this week was eye opening. I tried to sit down and really dive into the Word, but it wasn’t working for me. I don’t think that’s what God had in store for me this week. Instead of reading and meditating on the Word, I was quiet before God. When I tried to pray, I couldn’t find the words, so I just let Him speak to me. He already knows my heart, I needed to be still and listen to what He was trying to say to me.
Yesterday in church, we had a guest speaker. He brought a great message. It was along the same lines that our Pastor preached on the week before. It was a message I needed to hear again. It’s amazing how God works it out.
I have always been involved in some type of ministry or another. Many times I have had my plate full and overflowing. For the past two years, I’ve pretty much just been going to church. We have been attending our church for nearly two years and yet we still are not connected. For a long time, I couldn’t figure out why. Do we have something stamped across our heads that says “beware”. Why can’t we seem to fit in? Why can’t we build some relationships? This has really been bothering me. Why God? Why can’t we connect?
Over the past month, this has been weighing heavy on my heart. Recently, my eyes have been opened. We have been waiting for other people to take the initiative. Hunter and I are both quiet, (until we get to know people, then watch out!) and we are both uncomfortable in new situations. We aren’t bold and aggressive when it comes to new things, even little things. God is bigger than that! He’s bigger than my anxiety over how to dress for praise night or where to park at the church picnic. He’s bigger than my fear of what people think of me. I often have thoughts and ideas, but i’m afraid to speak up, because I don’t want to sound like an idiot. God is so much bigger than that. I can’t remember a time in my adult life when it has taken me this long to get connected.
Just last night Hunter and I were talking, and we’re done with this! We’re ready to take the initiative and be bold! We are trusting in God to give us new boldness for Him. Thank you so much, God, for quieting my heart, our hearts, to hear the things you have for us.
Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”
It’s amazing the way God can speak to us, if we only quiet our heart enough to hear him. I encourage you in the coming week, to be still before God and really seek Him and listen to what He is trying to say to you. He was saying to me, “I am in control. You can’t do this on your own. Trust in me and I will make all things new.”